| He Who Laughs...Lasts ! |
--- Terms Of Use ---
For Non-Commercial Purposes
As you can see, I have presented these tunes in their entirety from start to finish. The lyrics are complete on each page. All these songs are copyrighted by me. You are welcome to use these tunes anywhere you want for non-commercial venues, including parties, concerts, retreats, etc. You are also welcome to record these songs, for non commercial purposes, as long as you list me as the "words and music by" copyright holder.I hope you have as much fun with them as I did writing and recording them. If you do record a song, please send me a copy and I will put it up on this site.
For Commercial Purposes
Currently I am an un-published songwriter. These songs are, by default, considered published by me. If you are an artist, or publisher, that is interested in one of these tunes, please contact me.Best Wishes and God Bless
Rex Bernard
Laugh and Last!
A big Texas rancher and a little Oklahoma farmer had a conversation. The Texas rancher said, "I can get into my truck, drive it all day and not ever get off of my ranch!" “Yeah,” replied the little Oklahoma farmer, “I had a truck like that one time.”A man and wife rushed into a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or numbing cream or anything because I'm in a terrible hurry. “Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You're a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turned to her husband and said, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”
With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one of them asked. “Not yet,” said the mother. “I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.” Another half hour passed before another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?” “No, not yet,” said the mother. A while later and again the guests asked, “May we see the baby now?” “No, not yet,” replied the mother. Growing impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?” “When it cries!” she told them. "When it cries?” they gasped. “Why do we have to wait until it cries?” “Because, I forgot where I put it.”
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. So they go to a doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, “Where are you going?” “To the kitchen,” he replies. “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” “Sure.” “Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?” she asks. “No, I can remember it.” “Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you 'll forget it.” “I can remember that!” he says. “You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” “I would also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!” she insists. Getting irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness sake!” Then he grumbles his way to the kitchen. After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “Where's my toast?”
So you ask me "How did you get all those beautiful daughters?" Well friend...it started way back with one cute little skinny brunette. And the rest is...history!